yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
