you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
