We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
