Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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