i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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