You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
