He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
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