He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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