whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
