I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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