Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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