He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
