By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
