i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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