quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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