We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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