Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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