just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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