We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
