You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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