i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
