I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
