this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
