I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
