The maid of honor just puked.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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