you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
