I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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