If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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