The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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