would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
