1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
