Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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