He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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