Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
