Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
