i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
