Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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