you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
