i would punch a child for taco bell
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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