Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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