I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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