i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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