there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
