Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
