pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
