If that was your dad, he is hot
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize