is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The uberlube is also flammable
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
