i think my mom watched the whole time
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
