i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
