I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think a kid would responsible me up
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
