I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
