I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
