how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
