I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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