I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize