it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
