I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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