yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
