Kiss
Puke
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
