yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
