so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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