Your tits are I can't wait for
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
