And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
True strength comes from lack of pants
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
